Wednesday

I love him. Oddity is perfect.

Okay, there are and will always be issues. We are learning about each other and he's got his issues with me - my nondriving, my needy kids, my physical distance, my spanish. I have a few too - his surliness when he's had a little too much to drink, his inability to just accept.

I inadvertently hurt him by leaving Sunday morning without attempting to wake him up. I did, but I did not want him to bitch or rant - even if it wasn't at me, I couldn't deal with it after the last two drunk surly sorties. But I hate myself for making him cry. Gods, but I love the man. My heart breaks when I remember, and I know that when I explained to him his behavior, he also hurt.

We're adults. We'll deal. I want to be with him and I'm fully aware we're still not fully a year together. I won't wish, or hope, that he is The One. On the other hand, I want to make it happen. I want him to be The One. If there is such a thing. He feels so right next to me. I feel right next to him. I hope he doesn't change. And yet, I hope we grow together.

I hope we become so interlaced that neither of us can live without the other.