Tuesday

I'm so glad I'm driving now after my 40s... I can't imagine myself any more calmer or centered!  And working three jobs makes it necessary to have the car! And having my granddaughter visit.

I'm aging. It's so fascinating, and scary, because I never wanted to really age, yet it's all kinds of normal. Why do we deny it? I still think we weren't meant to age, but some thing or some one fucked around with our DNA... then again, I believe in fairies.

Sometimes I wonder what would it be like to outlive everyone else... then I think of outliving my kids and... no. I don't want to. I'd rather age and die and have my kids live out their lives as they should. Without me freaking out.