I tried to watch The Orphanage Friday. It's a Spanish horror flick and I love anything done in Spanish, especially old Spanish cinema style. I, however, do NOT watch horror flicks or even read horror books, as I am far too impressionable and susceptible to suggestion.

Seriously. The atmospheric intensity of the movie, coupled with being alone at home (yes, full daylight and my dog was sitting next to me with no concern) threw me into hysterics during one scene so bad that I turned it off, called Capt A and freaked out. Crying and shaking. The works. Everything in the house was suddenly ominous. The hallway was suspect; the books in the bookcase across from the door in Capt A's room was a sinister, dangerous, foreboding presence.

Tried again with people in the house (simply could NOT watch alone anymore. I started to shake instantly) and hit another scene that threw me back into silent hysterics and trying to pause it, I totally lost the window.

That was okay. I ended up reading the synopsis of the movie on wikipedia; and so I will do so with any movie, as I've always done. I thought going into watching this movie without any previous information would show me why everyone flips out by knowing plot before watching or reading. Sorry. I HAVE TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS if I'm going to watch a movie like this. or you will have a totally hysterical shrieking me on your hands.

I still want to watch the movie through; but now I won't be so afraid as I know what will happen. It is VERY VERY VERY well done, by the way, and the story is pretty damn awesome.

But never again will I try to see a movie, especially something labeled horror, without knowing exactly what will happen. Just not built for that sort of suspense.

Wednesday, June 03, 2009
THE little GIRL
Once upon a time in a city of rust, there was a baby girl born inside an abandoned building. So many years ago the sunshine kissed the windows. Now streams of light poked through broken glass while she cried. Born with an unwanted cross placed on her back at such a young age, the weight was too heavy. An eager heart felt the burden too. Life passes by so quickly, and what once was home was abandoned. Sunshine comes only once a week but she dances in the rain every day. Her feet hurt while she dances to song after song as she winces in pain. One by one, the boys try to save her. One by one they fall away from her. Like the lone tree she noticed once in a blue moon in the city that never sleeps, she also felt alone. One day the sky fell while she slept. her ground kissed the sky that filled with all of her tears. A rusted heart could feel no more pouring rain but sunshine pointed her to a city of dreams. Through a wooden covered bridge and lush green trees all around, new hope replaced all of her emptiness. Looking back into the mirror of life the little girl was reborn. Her smile made her face even more pretty than it ever was before. For she felt and knew in her heart. One day there will be a little boy who won't fall away.

I am a lucky woman. For all that I have had happen to me, I have a nice face, a good body, lack of serious health concerns, good job skills, so I'm always employable, adaptable, well-read, have a wonderful boyfriend currently, and I'm aging well. I've few prejudices and lots of understanding.

I don't remember all these things; the blessings of my life, the things for which I am and should always be grateful for. The things that I can smile about.

So some days I am less than lucid; I feel like I struggle through molasses and unable to motivate; but lately I am forcing my way through it, because letting it defeat me, even for a day, is a luxury I should have never allowed to happen.

Other days I'm sharp and clear, and can see/hear/understand for miles. I treasure those days.