So Temptation may have fallen in love - not with me, but with a much more eligible young woman, which means that I'm off the hook (my ego may feel a little slighted) and that better things are in store for Temptation and I won't have to DEAL with temptation! I can go back to my safe if rather vanilla lovelife.

I like that Temptation may find the "L" word; he certainly deserves it. I'm excited - sort of like a schoolgirl who's best friend is having exciting adventures. I want to hear all about it and live vicariously through it - falling in love! So unexpectedly! So out of the Blue! He wasn't even looking - and I'm betting nor is she. That's fantastic!

I go back to when I met Capt. A (or any number of exes; some of the stories are so romantic!) and while it's the past, it's sweet now, not bitter. Except, of course, for Capt A... who really is wonderful despite being normal. Sort of. :)

Update/Edit: It was an April Fool's prank.. pretty good one, from my pov. So now all systems go. Including TROUBLE. Jesus.


Sometimes I wish I didn't make so many friends. I find it hard to maintain interactions with people. It makes me feel like I lose pieces of myself - no, that's not right. More like, it stresses me to interact. I like interaction on my terms - when I'm ready for it. I guess that's why it's hard for me to maintain friendships. Very few people are allowed to become closer because of this.

I do have friends. I have people I can connect to (some very big surprises, like a girl whom I thought I couldn't get close to turning out to be just the right match for a friendship!) on many levels. I can also make the effort to be a friend to people whose association will be beneficial to me spiritually, emotionally and mentally - like my Capt A's family, whom I love dearly, every last one of them.

I've always said I'm a loner. I find my best moments dancing, or listening to music, or walking on my own, no phone, no conversation other than what's in my head. And yet, there are times I crave a friend's company. Few and far between to be sure, but they are there. So I don't despair too much about my inability to handle the stresses of friendship... my true friends wait it out and know to work around it.


Warm weather wakes up my libido. And I've already got an overly active one. Physical exercise is another libido riser - so guess how I feel when I am dancing my ass off. The only time I am not in the mood is in the mornings, when I wake up. Of course, this is when men feel the urge.

When I wake up, it's a new day. I want to savor my new day. I want to go over my dreams, or the impressions thereof. I want to enjoy the lingering pleasure of sleep as I move into the waking world. I want to orient myself in the now, to feel myself in that moment of waking. I find I work very hard NOT to resent that someone puts their arm around me, or holds me, or wants to get frisky. After all, I won't say no.

But I don't want sex in the mornings. I want sex in the afternoons, especially the hot hazy lazy days of summer. I want sex before I sleep because it calms me down and keeps me warm in the winter. Weekends are made for sex - except for the mornings, when we awake without the benefit of alarms, a thoroughly hedonistic luxury. A little tickle when we get home from work - that's dreamy, fantastic.

I want sex when I'm listening to my music - or to music playing elsewhere that taps into my soul. I want sex when I go hiking, or walking, or shopping.... well, not at THAT moment, but when we get home.

But I can't seem to shake his need for morning sex, and I can't seem to get him to enjoy afternoon delights. Ah well.