What went through my mind today?

Today, I celebrated that Karen Crafton and Bill Pham had their son, Kai, on Wednesday. At the same time, I grieve for my friends Joel Woelfe and Jennifer Benton for the choice they have to make for their failing child, Shealynn who was premature and has respiratory damage. Also: Turk and his comment on how we view our friends of over 20 years - as they are, or as they were - and frankly, I do view them as my memory serves, even when they're face to face with me and they have gotten older. It distresses me. I saw a house for sale and daydreamed of being able to buy it, and build a life with my grandbabies. Only my grandbabies. I pondered breaking up with Oddity due to his inability to change - I have changed! I've become a driver, a permanent employee - three jobs, in fact - and making inroads on my bills. I am stable and can soon provide stability for my grandchildren - and that's where we run into the fork in the road that will divide us. He can't understand 'family'. And it saddens me. I also dealt with a broken hearted, grieving young woman regarding her cheating, grifter boyfriend. I think she has the strength and presence of mind - and maturity - to make the right decision, but oh, the agony she is suffering! I wish I could take it on myself (I've the calluses to withstand the pain) so that she can heal faster. I also stood above my granddaughter as she slept and felt awe that this child is spawn of my spawn, that this marvelously complex and intriguing and exasperating person is the fruit of my daughter's womb, and part of my story for a while. She is so beautiful. I also thought of my grandson and how I will see him, and hope he sees me as his nana, and that I want him more than anything. Money matters interwove through all these thoughts, as to how to make my payments, not having enough money to treat my grandchild to frozen yogurt, upset at my youngest daughter and my son for having to give up $30 of my hard earned dollars because they did not make proper choices in their lives. And I worry for them and grieve for them, and rail at them in my head and heart. I also listened to Kilroy was Here by Styx and Operation: Mindcrime by Queensryche, and developed my album storyline with Planet P Project and The Buggles' only album as starters, spanning fads and epochs - now I need a final concept album for this current timeframe. Along with all that I ate breakfast, fixed my hair, played Forge of Empires, visited Facebook - which was the real reason I started this train of thought, because a quick few words, a status, a twitter feed, cannot show the complexity of every hour of every person who wants people to know who they are. Iris - Goo Goo Dolls Bittersweet Symphony - The Verve Alien - Bush