Oh My God sometimes I hate my family. Today my mother calls me; she sent 200 to my daughter to get a baby carriage, because ACS is threatening to take my new grandson away from his mother for whatever reason and my daughter flaked out. SHE JUST GAVE BIRTH FOR FUCKS SAKE!!! WHY THE FUCK IS ACS HARRASSING HER??? So this wiped my mom's money out. Meanwhile, Dad is being an asshole to my mom; my brother is a fucking jerk to everyone, his poor wonderful wife is constantly in tears over his shit and SHE has cancer!!! WTF is wrong with the men in my family??? We haven't even GOTTEN to my son and his assholery.....

My mother was in tears today. Sobbing on the phone wishing she were dead to escape this hell. I am thinking of giving up my life in Lancaster to go to my youngest daughter and help her with her son; anything not to lose my grandson. I hate ACS and all government children service agencies. And my own boyfriend doesn't or cannot understand this, and struggles to just say one nice thing....

And the roof is leaking at Capt A's, and I can't help but blame myself for leaving. My dog needs me and I cna't be with her. or with my daughter. or with my granddaughter - unless I give up trying to live a normal life.

I know what my mother is feeling, and she's feeling 100x worse than I am. I know there's something I can do, but it does mean giving up living a normal life. I don't know if I'm strong enough for that.