on JWs and life

I find myself still bitter and resentful not only towards the JW organization but towards society itself for trying to railroad me into being a good little female. I'm not... I'm proud of being a whore and a bitch and a cunt, a scifi/fantasy reader and a geek and a nerd; a weirdo who dresses funny and wants to act and walk and talk and fight like a man, who worships a female entity on odd days and taoist on even days.. a crazy person who doesn't want to care what society says, but must conform a bit just to be able to get a job and a home and a family... Oh, and oddly enough, my friends all think I'm too happy-go-lucky and joyous to be real... I love being a contradiction. Why is it so strange, when we as humans are dichotomous by nature? Nature itself is sweet and cruel, harsh and easy, cold and hot, all at the same time! Why can't we be contradictions in our own flesh? Why the need to conform?