We live, to die. I have this idea that we weren't originally meant to do so, but via mutation/interference we lost immortality. Then again, cancer is a sort of immortality (something about cells reproducing out of control, malignant and devouring, unable to maintain). What if cancer is our organism's way of trying to achieve/return to the state of immortality? I don't know if I want to live longer than I may be living. I'd love to see what happens, and while I'd never want to revisit my teens, it would be beneficial to be younger and more able to survive/withstand/prevail any future if I were at a peak physical age (personally, my peak was 30...) Out of money and time to make money. Feeling fearful for the next few months, as Ivy will be here and I have to pay phone, rent and car rental. But at least I have a car... as fearful as I am of it! Want to go to extravaganza this weekend; really wanted to camp out, but if with Ray, then I'll have to leave early enough. Not happy about it; but compromises have to be made. I feel bad for Ray as I get more used to driving about; he will wish for the days I didn't, as there are things I want to do that he doesn't share with me. I would have been content to do whatever he wants, but he would go on these rants about how I don't have this skill or that stability and now, well, he's gonna eat his words. off.