Tuesday

Sometimes its nice to be crazy. That is, I live in a world no one else experiences. Sometimes it's a bit frightening - after all, seeing and hearing things that aren't there combined with being unable to identify everyday things as normal and the occasional paranoid delusion can be downright unsettling. But it's not as frequent as before, and I can recognize it for what it is.

Last night I read two brief stories based on the Cthluthlu mythos and for most of the time spent trying to go to sleep, the shadows in my room kept on making gibbering noises and appearing squamous and ghastly. I knew what it was so I ignored it and finally went to sleep without any nightmares. It was last night that I appreciated that only I can see that - it's a product of a mind not fully rooted, whether chemically or physiologically - in everyone else's reality and it was rather fun, for once.

Truth to tell, I don't know if it IS crazy, or just that this is the way I see/experience the world. I'm pretty sure no one experiences it quite the same way, but there may be overlaps that people dismiss. I'm the first to admit I've quite an active imagination and am unable to turn it off at will. For today, it is fun.