Tuesday

He came again. He came early, straight from work. My future roomie and her little boy were over; I had cooked them dinner and we were sitting out in the porch and my eldest called to shoot the breeze and share some triumphs with me. And he walked up around the corner, and I caught my breath in wonder and surprise. I felt suddenly overwhelmed with emotional input - he was here, my daughter on the phone, my friend next to me...

He played with my future roomie's little boy as we chatted. They were chasing and catching fireflies after playing fetch with my dog. I had to hang up on my eldest, because I could not sustain a conversation. Then my future roomie left, and I fed him the dinner I made. It was very nice to have this moment to ourselves, just to talk. My youngest came home and also ate of my dinner - I had cooked for and fed everyone! - and then we sat in the living room (it's seen more use this evening than it has in the six months!) and played a drawing game. It was wonderful.

I called my eldest and found that she had been granted a scholarship and will be going to training to get a supervisory/managerial position at a prominent social service agency. I am SO VERY FREAKING PROUD OF HER.

He and I talked, sharing stories, as we got ready for bed. Then, quiet time, as we lay together, huddled, cuddling. Then the kissing became serious. Emmanuel's old song "Tu y Yo" spun in my head as this progressed: "Tu y yo un ramo de imagenes/tu y yo una simple formula/tu y yo caminan las hadas de aqui para alla/tu y yo un nido de pajaros/tu y yo llegando el silencio/tu y yo se forma una pagina/tu y yo haciendo una fabula/tu y yo jugamos un verso/ sin comas si reglas/sin tiempos ni acentos/dejamos la noche crecer/comiensan los besos/hacer un intento/la luna es mas grande que ayer/se unden mis manos a cada momento/encuentro una flor eres tu/me siento tan cerca te siento tan dentro/te miro en un rayo de luz/tu y yo la flor y la fabula/tu y yo el nido de un aguila/tu y yo una simple formula/tu y yo la luz ha nacido ya/tu y yo el sol viene entrando/deslizas tus pasos y el dia se queda/testigo de lo que paso/despues tu sonrisa mirando el espejo/recuerdas tu primer amor/es una aventura rozar tu rodilla/estoy acercandome a ti/te entregas y olvidar tirado en el suelo/un verso que hiciste de mi/tu y yo la flor y la fabula/tu y yo el nido de un aguila/tu y yo una simple formula."

It's simple. I love him. I love being near him. I love everything he does, even when he's unreasonably stressed. Everything seems brighter, better, sweeter, around him. I feel validated, justified, worthy, alive, real, loved. He's everything.

This morning was sweet; I love waking him up this way. And this is me, hating morning sex.... Then we got around to breakfast and getting ready for work. I look forward to the day this becomes commonplace, but I will never lose this delight.

As we walked out to his car, he passed me a note. It read:

Have a beautiful day. You are my princess. I love the way you hold me. With you I feel loved. Your smile lights up my life. And I know you really care. My heart is beating for you. You are my love, my special friend.

I haven't stopped smiling. I open it and read it almost every fifteen minutes. I am blessed to have met him, blessed that he loves me. Now if only the rest of my life would fall into place like this..

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