Capt A had a secret; he was practicing guitar. He didn't want his brother knowing. He almost showed his brother's wife, but he wanted to show his brother first. Well, she managed to wheedle it out of me - and told Capt A's brother. He came over last night and told Capt A that -I- was the person who spilled the beans.

Capt A will never trust me with a secret again. Thanks a whole fucking lot, people. I will NEVER tell you another goddamn thing again. I'm his BEST FUCKING FRIEND, just like I was the BEST FUCKING girlfriend he'll ever have. Thanks for undermining that.

I felt so bad I didn't go out last night. Just felt shitty. Of course, this cascades into feeling scared about how Oddity feels about me - he got a comment from someone about how glad she was he hung out with her and how handsome he was. I worked HARD last night not to read anything into that. So stupid, this insecurity.

I'm losing myself. I can fall in love with someone so much that I forget who I am. I'm not bar person, I'm not one musical genre person - I'm not driving person I'm not simply faceted. I'm eclectic and not mainstream and would rather dance or walk than sit in a car or drink. I AM affectionate and expect it in return. I am supportive and I will run with whatever my partner wants.

I hope he appreciates that.

Today, I had the pins and needles in my fingers again. This is NOT a nerve condition. This is directly due to the cold in this office. Or, more factually, to the lack of whatever it is that prevents my body from staying warm. The job can't be responsible for one person's adverse reaction to air conditioning. But what the hell am I going to do? First thing is I'm buying a pair of fingerless long gloves to wear in the office until the temperatures even out. I have the heater on at low under my desk, saving my poor toes (already clad in thick socks and boots, mind you) and body from hurting due to the cold.