Is it wrong to be proud of the fact that I can't really gain weight? That I can be as cut as I want to just by working out a little harder everyday (doesn't take much)? That I do have a pleasant face and good body for approaching 45, and that I can move as much as I do despite the injuries I've had? And that I don't age much - my genetic heritage is to be younger than my years. I'm proud of these things, but sometimes it feels so wrong. Not everyone's as lucky as I am in these points - but they are more self confident, perhaps, or they are lucid thinkers (I'm clear thinking about 10 days a month...) or can handle their finances (I certainly can't) and have more success in their lives - house, kids under control, car, job.....

sometimes I look at myself and see the goofy, slightly out of shape, saggy woman with poor mental acuity 75% of the time and no luck in the 'grown-up' world; sometimes I catch myself in wonder at the cute/elegant woman in the mirror with a clear perspective and acceptance of her life and satisfaction with what she does possess.

I just have to remember it's only chemical...