I named this blog Ruby Tuesday, after the song by the Rolling Stones. This song is one of my top favorites. The others are: Elstree by The Buggles, Kiss You All Over by Exile, Roxy Roller by Nicky Glider (or Nikki Gilder). A lot changed from the first entry. And things are still changing. Some are self-propelled and some are not.

A blast from my past contacted me and told me he loved me, that he had loved me since we were teens, 2 years apart almost 30 years ago. I had the most overwhelming crush on him and he left to get married and I would have never guessed that he wanted or loved me. He was afraid of my dad he said; he turned away like everyone else when I got punished for nothing. I went through anger and hate and fury and pity and nostalgia and wishfulness. Now, I'm just angry.

I did not like the reality of my youth or teen years. I hated my life then. I started living when I ran away from home at 17. I screwed up alot, but I lived and don't regret even the pain.

I don't want to hear from anyone else from my past, if they come to try to tell me they cared but couldn't do a thing or lift a finger to assist me when I needed it most. I don't need empty platitudes now; I'm good now. go away.