"Last night I had the strangest dream..." Break My Stride, Matthew Wilder

I was working in a deli or something in Brooklyn. Two guys came in to deliver meats; one guy I started horseplaying with and was instantly in lust with him. So much so, that I rode their van back through Brooklyn - it was a passenger van as well as a delivery van(?) and the characters they collected were wild. There was a punker with a varicolored mohawk, a butch gangbanger, motorcycle thugs of both genders, people so different and wierd and outside the mainstream and really really close in portrayal to some of my actual friends. Even as I was cataloging the people, the overriding thought was, I have to fuck this guy. I have to have him.

With this in mind, somehow I got off the van, and realized my mistake. So I start running to beat the van to where it's going. I go to all fours and run, like if I'm a bear or something. I thought it was strange and should have been painful, but it wasn't; it was like if I had turned into a beast. Soon I hit an area that I could take either through a park or through a partially abandoned block entirely surrounded by apartment buildings. I chose the abandoned buildings, but came to a spot where I remember having been through before and gotten messy, and I didn't want to get messy. I wanted to sleep with this guy and creepy crawlies and spider webs weren't part of that equation. So I backed out and found one of the still pristine and lived-in apartment buildings and encountered a dog.. and it seems I was a dog too and it wasn't a problem. Then I turned back to myself and the owner of the dog was confused but didn't seem to connect the two. I went in and through and out the other side. This was a busy commercial street, full of stores and bistros and outdoor vendors and such like. I saw the italian deli the guy worked in and marked it for a return, and realized that the building I came out of was the office of my therapist and I had an appointment today. Okay, but I wanted to explore the street abit.

I went up the street towards a place that sounded like they were playing jazz music, and at the keyboard was a familiar figure. He looked like my ex boyfriend, Lord Dragon - and when he turned around, it was him! I wondered briefly if he would acknowledge me and he called out to me and asked for a hug, which I gladly did, thinking all the while 'I'm in his arms again! I'm touching him again!'. His wife was there, and she and I started talking as the sun set. Then the lights went out - a blackout - and it seemed to be limited to the four blocks of the commercial district. So we went back to their place to hang a bit and talk; I had removed my bra and had mentioned that I needed to put it back on again, but lost it in their laundry (I was helping with laundry). I never found it. I did find that my feelings for my Lord Dragon changed as I hung out there; at one point, he was discussing a deal with another woman and asked her where were the goods, as there would be no contract without the goods. He didn't sound much like I remembered him, but I figured that age and marriage would do that.

And then I realized that I had missed my therapy appointment. And woke up.

Things in this dream bothered me very much; the lust, the turning into an animal, the eagerness to see Lord Dragon. I remember vividly going through the 'malesa' - the overgrowth and the spiderwebs and the abandoned buildings abutting the solid good buildings full of people and thriving business. I remember vividly the setting sun and the way the street went golden, then umber, and the sudden extermination of the lights during the blackout. I remember running and crouching to run on all fours, thinking, this should hurt and slow me down, but it is not - I'm fast. I vividly remember the lust for the guy I was horseplaying with. I remember the horseplay was rather violent, too.

If I were to analyze my dream based on my current situation, I'd say that the whole lust thing is quite in keeping with what's going on with Temptation and my Capt A and the new Oddities beseiging my libido. The animal part would seem to indicate that either I think it's an animal thing, or it is a primal base desire manifesting. The lust, that is.

The whole Lord Dragon thing? He's about the same body type and size as Temptation, so I suppose I was referring the past and the present desire. Going through the 'malesa' and remembering doing it before would mean that I've been in this mess before and I should learn from it - and considering I did NOT continue the pursuit, I'm sure I was telling myself to turn off.

That's it for now. Meanwhile, I'm feeling, like I'm several people.