Tuesday

So instead of taking a shower and getting ready for work, I'm posting another secret blog. I am so fucking pissed off at Captain A. He's thanking other people for listening to him this weekend; I understand his need for that and I am not pissed at that. I am pissed that 4 years of being almost the ONLY soundingboard he had is NOT FUCKING ACKNOWLEDGED. He's never really taken me for granted, but I was the person who listened to all his ideas, hopes, fears, schemes, thoughts, gaming rants, gaming excitements - I know all about Eve because he spoke about every action he took on that game for weeks on end. I was the person to listen to him for any little thing. When I took an active approach to his ideas, however, he thought I was tearing him down (which I wasn't).

I didn't get the same level of feedback I gave. He couldn't read my papers because I wrote so obtrusely. He couldn't JUST listen to me (but he could not do more than one thing at a time????) I obviously wasn't as interesting as his headspace was.

And it's not so much the listening thing that pissed me off; it's indicative of the greater arch of Captain A behavior. HE DOES NOT GIVE WHAT HE EXPECTS TO GET FROM OTHER PEOPLE. He simply doesn't get the clue that you get what you give out, and can't understand why his brother or friends sometimes pull away from his ideas or conversation. He is not cooperative, though he thinks he is.

Gah. I'm ticked. I'm furious. I've got to calm down.

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