I like my current living arrangement, don't get me wrong. I love being able to continue to take care of Capn A and make him breakfast and lunch, and be his sounding board and ears. I'm going to miss him a huge lot when we move on with our lives.

But this morning, when I woke up next to Oddity, I knew I wanted to do this for the rest of my life. No matter how pissy he gets (his reaction to things unknown or unsure) or how adamant he is about something, I can deal with it. He's not the kind I can get up and make breakfast for, for instance, like I did for Capt A.

This morning, he snuggled his head into my chest and wrapped his arms around me and fell back asleep. I would kill for more moments like that. He is openly affectionate. He isn't the kind that doesn't want me around when we go out. He LIKES me being around him. I had gotten so used to not hanging around my SOs 'cause they wanted their space at public events, this attitude of wanting me near him instead of off on my own is ... indecribably incredible.

If and when we do have a life together, it is going to be challenging. He is NOT an easy person; he is older and set in his ways. I am a flexible person and consider myself lucky to be so. But I am also older and I do have a comfort level I am not willing to compromise.

We have time. I wish I didn't feel so torn about leaving Capt A on his own.