It is physical pain to leave Oddity. I want to be near him. I know I've said it before about others, and there must be a reason for this. I am complete around him. I admire his creativity, I like his pissy moods, I love his kinks, his random wierdness. I don't like bars, but i can enjoy them around him.

Suddenly I seem to be attractive to people. I know what it is; I am alive again. I am active and out there, dancing and flirty and full of energy. I had shut down after Lord Dragon and for the time I was with Capt A, I did not open up enough.

Now I'm alive. Everything turns me on; everything is new. I am excited about my life and my future. I want to be where I can be me. It will cost.

I went through my books upstairs and I can't see myself without them. Oddity did let everything go. How can I let go of my bestest friends? Those books make me feel safe, and I don't want to let them go. Where men and friends can let you down, you can always depend on a book for consistency and stability... LOL

For housewarming, whenever I get an apartment, the only gifts I want are book cases. That's all I want. I can get everything else. But I can't have enough bookcases.