He's done it again. He's managed to rock my world with his words and need me the way I need him. I love that man, my Oddity. I want to be there for him; he needs me. He loves me.

"hearts at a distance

Sunshine morning thinking of you
my heart awakens from a dream.

Just how will i get thru another day
when you are too many miles away.

TOY is a message we hold dear
when all we want is to hold each other.

One day our dreams will unfold
as we rise up to each day together.

Counting each day one at a time
sifting thru day dreams and at night.

My heart is beating for that moment
when our hearts will be beats apart.

This love grows stronger we know
even though we are hearts at a distance.

You are my friend, my heart and my soul
like a dream that i never want to end."


Today, I had my first official driving lesson. And then had a meltdown and went manic. I called to work and they gave me an hour leeway, and I walked the railtrail up and down listening to Cocoon by Assemblage 23 until I calmed down.

"Even though I know it's only chemical
These peaks and valleys are beginning to take their toll
Try to convince myself that all it takes is time
But the most derisive voice I hear is mine

It opens all the scars on me
It leaves me shaken in my belief
It takes my hand just to drag me down
It makes me a stranger in the crowd

Give me isolation just for now
I feel a hard rain coming down
I promise that I will be back soon
But for now I'll return to my cocoon

There is thunder in the distance and the sky grows gray
There is lightning in the clouds in search of prey
It's not a matter of if as much as when
The clouds will break and the rainfall will begin

It opens all the scars on me
It leaves me shaken in my belief
It takes my hand just to drag me down
It makes me a stranger in the crowd

Give me isolation just for now
I feel a hard rain coming down
I promise that I will be back soon
But for now I'll return to my cocoon

Cracks in the chrysalis spread out like tiny snakes
That hiss a litany of rumors and mistakes
But I'm afraid their cause is fraught with futility
There is nothing more that they can take from me

It opens all the scars on me
It leaves me shaken in my belief
It takes my hand just to drag me down
It makes me a stranger in the crowd

Give me isolation just for now
I feel a hard rain coming down
I promise that I will be back soon
But for now I'll return to my cocoon"