It's kind of frightening to see things that aren't there. It doesn't happen alot, but it happens alot more than I tell people. It's usually peripheral vision or glances where I catch things moving or just there and when I look back, it's not there or there's no movement. I know what it is; it's just misinterpretation of the visual field context in my brain. It doesn't help that I have one of those impressionable and highly fertile minds....

Under stress or high emotion, or when I've not been able to sleep/rest/eat right, I see these disturbances more. I try very hard to keep within the parameters of what will prevent me from those types of things, along with the manic/panic episodes and the whole 'hearing voices' thing.

People simply do not realize how much stress any kind of interaction is on me. Even talking to my own kids can be overly taxing. Hanging out with friends, while enjoyable, engenders panic for some reason and extended contact tends to trigger all the wierd stuff I try to avoid.

There's a reason I loved books and dancing by myself. :) I know some of the reasons for the triggers: for instance, I love to roleplay, but I was given a set of ethos that work is the most important thing to do and such forms of relaxation are unacceptable. Yet, I can't bear working ALL THE TIME; it also triggers all the bad stuff. The conflict is handled by meditation and analysis of why it bothers me one way or the other, and working out soem sort of balance while reconciling the underlying causation. Letting go and giving up - just internal mechanisms to deal with the conflicts - are tools I use alot.

But I have to be by myself, and it is very hard on me to interact socially for any length of time. So when I withdraw, please respect my need for personal space and inner harmony; I really hate seeing things move and hearing things just outside my actual perception, and I abhor my manic/panic episodes (very destructive).