Tuesday

Life is beautiful. Hey, shit happens. Into every garden, snow and rain and hail must fall. Things die and new life come forth, based on the fertile ground littered with the dead.

My children are grown. I can't believe all that time has passed. And yet, there are and will always be my children, my babies. I spoke to my son today (I can't stay angry at my kids) and found he is still ... well, he has transformer figures and G.I.Joe figures and creates combat scenarios (I did similar with my dolls for many years - yes, combat. I didn't play dressup! I was a MERC!) My mother thinks he's trying to relive his childhood....

My youngest is learning things slowly, but she is learning. My eldest is marvelous. My granddaughter is still trapped by my parents' fanaticism, but we all had to go through that, and the challenge is to emerge stronger from such an experience.

I am still looking for work. Classwork is HARD; it requires more work and thinking and time and energy than I expect to be able to produce good work. I have to reevaluate my time spending and see what I can do to focus on remaining..

ON THE PRESIDENT'S LIST, which is keeping your GPA at 3.96 or above. I hope I don't flub it with this semester - OMG is legal research tough!

I am still working; just not in the city I want to be in. All that is an upward climb and I don't kid myself; it's going to be rough. It will also be worth it. I'll be selfsufficient, finally, and somewhere I feel I belong.

I am going to be with Oddity. That alone makes my insides quiver with joy. We are going to be together on vacation - A VACATION!!!! avemaria, so long I've not had one, and with someone I love??? it is frightening how completely thrown I am by this whole thing. I can't believe it's happening!

Life is sweet, but I see others not have it like that. I wish I could tell them to just be open to life, even the harsh, painful parts. Let it flow through and let it become a stronger you. Do not dwell (well, mourn a bit, then move on).

I have Oddity. It's real. We can work to make it last the test of time. I can do this.

I am happy.

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